This is why I’m Single part one ….Chip on my shoulder…

When guys ask for my number inside the club my response is usually no…then I drop the I have a child line…but of late that doesn’t seem to put them off (thanks slack mummies) so now I drop the boyfriend and a child line…I’m probably not increasing my chances of coupledom but who pees in their watering pond?  Like really?  I am so pro monogamy its borderline obsessive lol…I cannot give my number to a guy this week go bk to the club and give my number to a different guy the week after!  Can I? I know what I want…and I know the kind of manly spirit I need…so all of this along with the following list are why Hunii doesn’t give out her number.

  1. My eyesight is really bad…even worst in low lighting or overly bright lighting situations.
  2. Guys who ask for your number in a rave are CRAZY!!!!
  3. I get really insulted when guys who see me normally fully dressed, and in flats, think just because I’m in something short…or wearing heels with a glass of something in my hand….I must have lost all my damn senses and be more likely to say yes.  contrary to popular belief some women dress for themselves…free entry and free drinks…FREE being the operative word…giving you our number defeats that point…just saying.
  4. I’m probably already feeling someone.
  5. I prolly saw you work your way around the club tryna get some poonash, from all the “excited fun looking girls” before you thought you’d try your luck with the “quiet” “reserved wall flower” don’t be fooled guys…no one stays quiet forever…all they need is to get comfortable.Again..this is probably why I’m single lol

So the other night this one guy spots me in the club…actually to be fair he saw me outside on the way to the club earlier in the night and offered me a lift to my destination.  I was like uhm no thanks I’m cool (I was freezing actually).  I was like I’m meeting my friends at Bar Sirius…he was like cool I’ll stop by later see if I can find you.  I smiled and kept walking.

Few hours later I’m in the club and someone says hello.  Its stranger danger guy.  He is really nice, polite, easy on the eyes, easy to talk to; in fact I know who he is because of his line of work. He asks for my number offering the same package as the other guys you know drinks and a date..I say no. He starts asking about my interests and stuff, tell him I blog he mentions ways of me increasing my views…he asks for my number I say no…

He asks if I’m single… I lie and say no…he then asked to see my ring I said I’m not married yet. He said oh your engaged. I said I wish. He said not single married or engaged, boyfriend? I said err nope (I’m a real bad liar at times lol) he stared at me then said oh so friends with benefits I frowned and said no longer friends n definitely no benefits he said well what’s the problem then? You should give me your number…

Without thinking and with the utmost respect and truth (I’m so ashamed) but I kid you not there was no malice behind my words!!!

I look him dead in the eyes (yes I am that dramatic in real life), point to the space above my shoulder and say…
See this? He looks at me like what? your shoulder? I continue This right here? His name is Chip.  He lives on my shoulder… he and I are going to be together for a while. He laughs I say no, Siriusly… I have a man-sized chip on my shoulder, giving out my number isn’t something I do, Sorry…

Seconds later Chip (who is very real even if his name isn’t ) walks into the bar.
Half an hour later, stranger danger dude walks away with my friends number.

Can you blame me?  This is why I’m single.

Hunii x


4 thoughts on “This is why I’m Single part one ….Chip on my shoulder…

  1. Pingback: This is why I’m Single part two…Meeting Chip | Hunii's Genesis


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